(This article is the first in a seven part series detailing what FAMILY ADVENTURE NIGHTS are and how to introduce them to your own family! Have fun and create new, lasting memories!)
Judging by my 13 year old son’s face, I wasn’t sure what was more difficult to for him to try…the slimy date or the alligator meat. Goaded on by his brothers, he tried to act cool and popped a second date in his mouth to prove that he wasn’t phased by it. He may not have chosen the food on the table, but he knew he had to eat to keep his strength up before entering the temple just outside of Cairo. After all, adventure awaited!
The idea and inspiration for our family’s first Adventure Night came from my desperate, secret dream to whisk my family away to travel the world as only the super-rich can do. I wanted to go far beyond just site-seeing. I wanted us to EXPERIENCE each location in the most romantic way. I wanted to take them to breakfast cafes in Paris, to ride elephants through the jungles of India and to explore ancient Aztec ruins with all of the booby traps we’d seen in the movies.
Beyond the experiences, though, I wanted to offer them so much more. As an adult, I’ve been privileged to have met many men and women who were well traveled, who had visited many countries and interacted with people from many different cultures. I’m not referring to those going on pleasure vacations where they spent most of their time at a westernized resort. I’m talking about those in business who’ve lived in other countries for a year or two at a time and the individuals who went to third world countries regularly either as part of missionary work or as a service volunteer…or simply those that traveled a lot beyond the tourist traps. The more of these individuals I personally met and spoke with, the more I was able to pick them out in the crowd at social gatherings. They just talked differently. They, I dare say, THOUGHT differently. It’s difficult to fully explain, but they all shared a common revelation the more they experienced cultures outside of their own.
I learned that they all realized something very, very important. It was what I wanted so desperately to teach my sons because I felt it was going to be crucial for them to learn in this ever shrinking world. You see, they all saw time and time again that people all over the world were HAPPY even though they ate different foods, lived in a variety of domiciles (from huts to houses), wore different clothing, celebrated holidays differently and spoke different languages (to name only a few examples.) They all realized that what might be odd to me is not odd to someone else. It was a cultural awareness that led far beyond tolerance…it let to appreciation.
In my early thirties I saw that I was way off track from ever making the kind of money needed to travel the world with my family, so I turned to Plan B. By this time I was working for myself designing large-scale themed treasure hunt adventures for corporations and private parties. I took every trick from those to launch our first Family Adventure Night back in 2002.
So, what is a Family Adventure Night (FAN)?
It’s an attempt to recreate an adventure experience in exotic locales within your own home that the WHOLE family can participate in. Using effective decorating techniques, engaging in exotic meals and participating in actual adventures (as described later) each participant will feel like he/she actually went on a REAL adventure in a far away country. Over the years, I’ve taken my family to such far off places as India, the Congo, ancient Egypt, London, the Death Star and even Traverse Town (for those Kingdom Hearts fans) to name just a few. FANS have had quite an evolution over the following 15+ years with lots of hits and misses along the way. Looking back, now that my three sons are in their 20s, I would say that our Family Adventure Nights were the most rewarding and memorable activities that I’ve planned as a parent and what my sons still bring up when talking about their childhood. They were powerful enough to make my sons drop their video games and electronics every time!
Although there was not a consistent format when I set them up initially (not all of them were even at night), this book will detail a workable format for you. You’ll be able to set up your own Family Adventure Nights based on your own resources, family, etc. There’s a lot of room for flexibility. Feel free to make your Adventure Nights your own. It’s impossible for me to include everything in a single series of articles. I’ve merely collected the most workable ideas in an organized way so you can pick up where I left off and start enjoying them with your own family right now.
WHAT ADVENTURE NIGHTS HAVE BROUGHT TO OUR FAMILY
Over the years, our Family’s Adventure Nights have provided the following for us:
1. FANs will bond your children and strengthen their relationships with each other. Unique experiences create memories and FANs are all about creating a one-of-a-kind, one-time unique experience for everyone involved. Going on the actual adventures had the largest impact on their relationships because they were always on the same team, versus playing against each other. If one succeeded, they all succeeded. It also taught them to encourage each other as a team (anyone with multiple kids understands the competition that can build up between them.)
2. FANs helped my sons see that our family was special. No other family was having them. It was something special that we did as The Deans. Sometimes a friend would join us and they would make comments about how original and awesome it was, which made us feel special and closer as a family.
3. FANs helped my sons to be bolder in trying new things. More than just trying new foods (wait until you see the food section!) I believe the adventures specifically helped them to approach new situations with more courage.
4. FANs gave my sons a greater world view. Places like Ecuador and Japan were no longer words on a map or scenery in a movie, they became real places to visit, with real things to see once there and real people to meet. Once while watching Peter Pan one rainy night, my five year old saw Big Ben in the movie and remembered it from one of our FANs and said “Hey Dad — they’re in London, England aren’t they? There’s Big Ben!” Score ONE for the Family Adventure Night!
5. FANs gave my sons a greater appreciation for music and art. They were not just exposed to art and music from around the world, they also learned to respect it as they NEEDED to learn it in order to complete their adventures. They also enjoyed the times when they would recognize names and art/music pieces when they were outside the home or at school.
6. FANs helped my sons to better understand geography. During the adventures, they planned travel itineraries and learning geography was a part of that. They didn’t set out to learn it, but ended up learning it along the way.
7. FANs taught my sons the benefits of learning another language. Utilizing foreign languages is a fun and integral part of the whole FAN experience and the constant exposure helped to create a relaxed view towards the actual learning of a new language. Foreign languages weren’t so ‘foreign’ anymore. They even became crucial when it came time to completing the adventure — they had to USE the languages to their best advantage in tight situations. Now that my sons are in their 20s, all on their own one has taken on learning Italian, another Japanese and a third several at once but enjoys French the most.
8. FANs broadened my sons’ overall education. For all of the reasons mentioned above, my sons retained facts and details because they weren’t learned from books. They LIVED the experiences, creating stronger memories for each of them. Remembering wasn’t a chore — it was fun and easy to remember at the time.
9. By far, though, the best thing that FANs offered my sons, as well as for me and my wife, are the great memories. We traveled the world, the five of us, and did many, many amazing things together. We went on African Safaris, explored temples and even lived through a cave in (more on that later, as well.)
Now that my sons are all adult men I can see all of the positive (and the negative, too) impact our parenting choices had on our sons. They are all adventurous men, not afraid to try new things and are all better problem solvers thanks to our Family Adventure Nights. And, now that they are older, I’ve been blessed to experience each one of them coming to me on their own as adults and expressing their gratitude for all that they learned as a person through our adventure nights.
And THAT is why I’m writing this article series.
As you learn how to set up your own FANs, note that none of them require you to set up an adventure similar to what I was able to plan. I’ve planned several FANs that didn’t involve an adventure portion at all. They were still a lot of fun. However I will say that the adventure portion was always the one part that my sons looked forward to the most and you’ll find it particularly engaging for any video-game enthusiast in your house to at least take a look at that section of this book.
A Family Adventure Night HAS to include at least one component that is exciting, awkward or uncomfortable for everyone (maybe even a little scary.) It’s this key element that turns a boring family night into a Family ADVENTURE Night. I’ll offer some examples later. For your family’s sake, do not leave these out especially if you have older kids. Small children can have fun with small things, but if you have a 6th-12th grader, these elements will be most appreciated. PLEASE, I’m speaking from experience on this one. Some elements have included (but aren’t limited to) eating foods that they would not normally get anywhere near, listening to strange music (actually sitting and listening), eating in a location not normally designated as ‘proper’ such as in the corner of the garage, on the floor in the living room,etc.), wearing an odd piece of ethnic clothing, exploring someplace scary (haunted house style temple rooms, etc.), activities that are physically challenging, and getting wet with their clothes on. Although safety is always a priority, often times we say ‘no’ simply because it’s uncomfortable for us more than it’s unsafe for them. Learn to enjoy the adventure yourself!
I’ve broken down this series of articles into the three A’s of Family Adventure Nights: Atmosphere, Activities and Adventure. The Atmosphere section will give you a solid foundation on how to transport your family to these exotic locales using tricks that will engage every sense of the body. The Activities section will help your brain engage in experiencing the locales. This might include anything from playing unique games to eating exotic foods. Finally, the Adventure section will briefly discuss the types of adventures that I would plan as part of our FANs. They were more elaborate than perhaps many would want to set up, but I hope that for some reading this they will get excited about the possibility with this section. See a link at the end of this article on how to download one fully designed adventure that you can plug and play (as much as possible, as far as adventures go!)
In each section you’ll find extra ideas sprinkled throughout. These ideas may take more time and preparation but will really create excitement. We don’t always have the time or energy to incorporate every ‘wow factor’ included in these articles, but for those times when you DO, your family will love them!
I’m really hoping that by sharing some of what we did as a family that others will be inspired to take on the concept of a Family Adventure Night for their own families. The fruit that came from the many that we had over the years is still evident in my sons’ lives, even as adults. It’s also some of my fondest memories I have over all the times we’ve spent together with the five of us.
I know that some might feel overwhelmed at all of the details that I’ll share in these articles, but I sincerely hope that you’ll see the benefits of even doing just ONE of them. Sit down and have an ethnic meal together — show your kids on a world map where that type of cuisine came from. Play a little music from that culture while you eat or perhaps look up a word or two in the local language to use while you eat (words like “yes” and “no”.) Just doing that will broaden your children’s minds in ways that you might not initially realize. It will also help to equip them as they navigate their new, smaller world when they are adults (no doubt, their generation will live in a much smaller world than ours ever was!)
Take care, parents. Your children love and appreciate everything that you do.
Now it’s time to see how to plan YOUR own Family Adventure Night!
To read the next article in the series, FAMILY ADVENTURE NIGHTS – ATMOSPHERE PART I, click HERE.